Today I’m mourning…life when felt like I wasn’t living in ‘survival mode’.
As I approach the end of my first year as a mom, I’m here to share that there are so many things that weren’t what I expected. There is no shortage of advice that is given to new parents, whether while pregnant, or during the first months of your child’s life. But what I found, was that in those moments, I didn’t understand the full meaning of what people were telling me, or the advice that was given did not apply. All I really know, is that there are 5 things I would not have survived the first year of my kid’s life without.
5 Things to Survive the First Year of Motherhood (IMO)
- A community of moms
- A village
- The internet
- A therapist
- A few material items
Let’s dive in a little more, shall we?
A community of moms – This one is so crucial. In the tough times, these were the people that gave me a sense of camaraderie, that answered all my crazy questions, and that helped me laugh about the things that made me want to cry. A quick text or message to a mom friend helped me navigate through whatever I was trying to get through. Having the wise and experienced moms with kids a few months or years older than mine were great for that, and on the other side, having the mom friends of the newer, younger babies are the ones that I got to (and still try to) pay it forward to. I learned how essential and valuable it is to reach out to my newer mom friends from the ones that did it for me. It’s the circle of life that is motherhood.
A village – My village starts first and foremost with my husband, who is a rockstar. He has been more, done more, provided more, and supported me more through this experience than I could ever put into words. If you’re lucky enough to have such a partner, don’t be afraid to confide in and rely on them. They might not understand first hand, but my guess is that they’ll be willing to listen and try. One of the biggest mournings of mine post partum was feeling like I was in it alone, and I didn’t want to, or know how to ask for help. Don’t be like me. Let people show up and help because they’re the ones that make it feel less hard, and if they’re offering, they genuinely want to be there. Who knows, you might learn some things from them. Whether it’s family members, friends, or neighbors, find your people and let them show up for you. Because it really does take a village.
The internet – Ok this is actually a double edged sword. There is SO much information out there nowadays on how to raise kids, which is so helpful, but also extremely overwhelming. So please if you take nothing else from this, let it be to take all that information with a grain of salt. This might make me a hypocrite, because I am absolutely guilty of letting this information overwhelm my emotional and mental state sometimes, but that is why I’m putting it out there. I had no idea where to start when it came to taking care of a newborn or raising a kid (which as a first time parent, who does?), and the internet is so accessible. But no parent is perfect, and at the end of the day, as long as you’re doing YOUR best, that’s what matters most. All I can do every day is MY best, and I’m good with that.
A therapist – You hear a lot about how pregnancy and post partum affects moms’ brain chemistry and emotions. And as someone who considered herself relatively mentally and emotionally stable (ha) pre-kid, my understanding of the significance of these changes was limited. Flash forward and I have been seeing a therapist since about 8 months post partum due to struggles with post partum anxiety (PPA). Let me be clear, this is not something that I am ashamed of, but it’s definitely not something that I’ve broadcast. I know the stigma around these types of things is changing, and I’m glad to be a part of a generation that sees how important it is to prioritize mental health. My intention and the main reason for me choosing to ask for help with my struggles, is and has always been to be the best version of myself, to be the best mom and wife I can be, to always make sure I can be that person for my family and friends. To any moms (or anyone) out there that is struggling too, I see you, and I’m here for you. It’s ok to ask for help when you need it.
A few material items – So many baby things. There is no shortage of things that you will need, and will think you’ll need. There are so many things that I am grateful that we had, but there are a few that I would absolutely recommend.
- Baby monitor with WiFi capabilities. We have the Hubble Nursery Pal Cloud Touch Twin.
- We love this because it gives us the freedom to leave the house (we never go far) once bb is asleep. Even for just a little golf cart cruise around the neighborhood, it feels like a little date night escape.
- Floor play gym with overhead mobile. We have the Lovevery Play Gym.
- This grows up great with bb so it lasts longer than just a couple months. My little guy is almost a year old and still loves to play with it, so, great entertainment factor.
- Sound machine. We have the Hatch.
- Integral in blocking outside noise and keeping bb asleep. Also great for setting a vibe.
- A Boppy pillow.
- Multi-purpose and grows well with bb. Great for tummy time, feeding, sitting practice, etc.
- Big blankets.
- These come in handy when bb likes a little bigger play area but is spitting up and drooling everywhere. We had a few that we would swap out and wash when one would get dirty. At least helped save us from having to clean the floors all the time.
Thanks for reading about the 5 things that helped me survive the first year of motherhood! Feel free to drop a comment and let me know what helped you get through your first year of parenthood, I’d love to hear!
Cheers ☕️
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